I've been lost since I've departed

“Most of the time I fucking hate life. Most of the time life is a flatlined fucking existential nightmare for me and I fucking hate it, I want to check out all the time. There you go, now you know the truth. The thing that keeps me here is knowing that life would go ‘Ha, you wimped out, you couldn’t handle me.’ So what I seek to do is to make life run for it’s life.”