Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Thank you for being there for me.

2. I'm going to miss all you guys in California. And honestly, I'm actually considering coming back to California winter break. Maybe, just maybe you'll see me around.

3. After all you've put me through, I can't believe I forgave you again. I really forgive too easily. Well, at least we're friends again.

4. Thank you so, so much for looking over my essays, walking to fro-yo with me no matter what time of day it is, letting me rant about the most ridiculous things, and for our friendship. It was nice to see our friendship from 6th grade be restored in a week or two. I promise I'll write to you as much as I can once I'm in New York.

5. I love you so much that is consumes me. I hate how one minute we're so in love. And in the next minute, I feel like I've done something wrong. Maybe, I'm just over-thinking and being too insecure. You probably don't realize what you're doing, but it really, really hurts. The thing that scares me the most is that you'll eventually get bored of me and realize my true nature, while I've given you everything I could possibly give, you'll replace me withing a matter of seconds just like everyone else has.

6. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty when I think about what I've done. Just know that you tend to be in the back of my mind every now and then, and I meant every word I said to you.

7. I know how hard headed I am, and I'm sorry for not being what you want in a daughter. It's also my fault why this family is so dysfunctional; however, I'm leaving in two days, so you won't be hearing from me for a long while.You know, I do listen to what you say and I do try to do what you tell me to do. I want to live up to your expectations, but I know no matter what I do I'll never be what you want. I'm sorry. I hope you guys live healthy and well while I'm gone.

8. You've hurt me so much. I don't think we'll ever be the same. "그래 나 억지로라도 너를 지워야겠지 날 버린 널 생각하면 그래야겠지 - Yes, I should force myself to erase you. I should do so since you abandoned me. " Weren't you the one who told me leave before you're left? Well, I'll say goodbye now.

Well..... I can't think of any other people I want to say things to, so.... I'll leave it as is and call it a night.


Tomorrow I will:

* Deposit money in bank account
* Walk to the post office and get stamps
* Phone call with Dr. White at 11AM
* Meet up with Andrew, exchange our going away present to each other(I hope he likes his present... if he doesn't ;A; ), and make him dinner.