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months ago, I would not have believed it
I am running out of excuses, so I tipped the hourglass to it's side. Anyone that knows the feeling knows it so acutely- so I raised my glass but did not drink. I was expecting the anticipation that surrounded Christmas when I a child- so I opened my presents prematurely. But now all I do is dread, the malaise that lingered in my brain has been replaced by fear and doubt- so I know that euphoria is only temporary. I'm afraid I'll cry at the sight- so I can see ghosts. Then everyone will know - so I will hold my tears back and bite my bottom lip.

Or I'll have nothing anymore.